Wednesday, September 9, 2009

for me or for you

yeah, that what i say. am i writing this for you, the reader or for me. a few days ago it occurred to me that i often wrote in my journals and other sources for the reader, with hopes that the reader would approve of me. i'm looking for approval from 1) folks that i may never, well most likely never, meet, 2) people in my life that if they did come across this would wonder 'who' i am, and 3) myself; which is absurd since i don't like the outcome of such behavior.
So ... a few mornings ago as i laid in bed looking out the window, it occurred to me that i must return to writing and the writing is about me with the feelings i experience at the moment; or at the least be truthful on the subject of actuality and not assuming what i think the reader wants to read. now that i've confused myself with the above explanation, i made a promise to myself on few items i want to improve on. i do realize that this list will evolve as i evolve with life:

- to be truthful to myself
- take a deep breath before making a decision or comment
- be responsive to my inner voice

these feel strong to me; i like the meaning each have and what they will bring in the sense of experience.

yay! i just smiled with myself and a little excited about this step forward. the step forward to loving myself.

- palms together

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